Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize