My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
