Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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