we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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