garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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