just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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