his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
