I hate your face
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
