return my video game
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
