garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
