she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
