Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
