I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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