You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
