Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
