is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
