Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
