Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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