I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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