We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
time to smoke my breakfast
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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