hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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