you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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