how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
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