its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Oh god it's open bar.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
