the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
