jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize