Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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