I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
