I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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