If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
