Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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