This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
