I wanna passion pit in your ass
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
