I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
