I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Boobs are out for the taking
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
