I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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