that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
