Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dear god my vagina.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
