He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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