some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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