dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
