none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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