well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
