Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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