I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
