Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
