last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
