People in love make me want to vomit
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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