But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
