Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
