Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
