We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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