I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
