Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
