is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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