He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
