Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
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