Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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