He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
