it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize