I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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