If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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