i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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