i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
