Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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