If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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